We all need to ‘scale up’ in our careers, so which tools have the Fish Team at Te Papa invented over the years to a) solve the unique challenges of their jobs and b) dazzle international visitors like a show of bioluminescence? Fish Curator Andrew Stewart gave summer intern Shona Riddell a tour of capability-growing curiosities that you really must sea to believe.

1. The Gut Stuffer 2000 and Gut Stuffer 2000 Bis

If you’ve ever been diving, you’ll know that shooting up to the surface too quickly causes your lungs to rapidly expand, and this is a very bad thing. The same applies to fish pulled up from the depths of the ocean – their swim bladders expand to the extent (for some fishes) that their guts are pushed out of their mouth.

In order to keep a fish looking its best and keep its insides, er, inside, the Fish Team invented the Gut Stuffer in the year 2000 (hence its name) to gently (despite its name) push the fishy innards back down. ‘Bis’, Latin for ‘twice’, refers to the Stuffer’s upgraded model, which can handle more guttage within the team’s larger specimens.

2. The Drinks Trolley

Spoiler alert: this isn’t the rolling, carbonated beverage cart from your last domestic flight. Instead, the Drinks Trolley holds two 50-litre carboys (containers) containing a potent mix of either ethanol or isopropyl, strapped down for security and wheeled about via large pneumatic tyres. A lower shelf comfortably holds the largest jar, which stores up to two litres, and a bottom tray helps to manage any leakages.

Best avoided as a beverage option, no matter how thirsty you are.

3. The Super Swizzler

Despite its magnificence, there’s a potential problem with the Drinks Trolley if the alcohol concentration is uneven through the carboys. That’s because one batch of jars will be in over-proof alcohol, which dries and shrivels the specimens, while the next batch will be understrength, causing them to go ‘off’.

Enter the Super Swizzler to solve this problem, but you won’t find it in a Briscoes sale. It’s made of threaded rod and parts of an ice cream container, with a recycled mop handle at the other end for ergonomic ease. Plunging this stylish contraption up and down a few times in the carboy will ensure all your specimens enjoy the same concentration and Collection Managers can concentrate on more important things, such as when the next coffee break is due.

4. The Romainiser IV^(TM)

Speaking of coffee, aka ‘thinking juice’, caffeine is the high-octane fuel required to run the F1 machine that is the Fish Team. But what happens if a scientist is busy at break time? No worries!

The Romainiser IV is a square polystyrene container that easily holds the most dedicated addict’s coffee mug, which will be lovingly placed inside to retain its warmth. It was named as a tribute to Romain, a former Fish Team Technician who appreciated caffeine but was often stuck in traffic.

As to what happened to the Romainiser I, II or III, no one knows.

5. The Whacking Stick

Ever struggled to open a pickle jar? Well, there are thousands of jars containing specimens at Te Papa and dried fish oils make the lids even more glued down and impossible to prise open. Instead of sweating and swearing and getting wrist RSI, the Fish Team turns to the Whacking Stick. Made out of a stick, the Whacking Stick is tapped on the rim several times like a scene from Harry Potter, with optional incantations, and the jar magically opens.

Note: The Whacking Stick is only to be used by, or under the direct supervision of, an OSC/Worksafe-trained and approved operator.

6. The Fish Getter-Outer

This name is not a red herring; instead, just as it implies, the Fish Getter-Outer is a tool used to get fishes out of tanks. Why not just use gloves, you may ask? Because the tank is quite deep and liquid might seep into the gloves.

The Fish Getter-Outer provides an elegantly simple solution. Designed to be used by any sized hand, its gentle curves also ensure that the specimen (a Ray’s bream, in the above photo) is not damaged when it is carefully lifted to the surface for examination.

7. The Schultz Wedge

The Fishes Team may not be invincible enough to single-handedly shift 200 and 220 litre drums, but drum trolleys were invented for that. The problem is, the trolleys have tines (sharp bits) that risk puncturing the drums when inserted underneath, making a ghastly mess.

To overcome this obstacle, the team gives the drum a quick shove and simultaneously taps the Schultz Wedge under it with their foot, which raises the edge so they can safely insert the trolley’s sharp tines underneath. Sometimes little things make a big difference and in this instance we bow to Tom Schultz, the Wedge’s creator.

8. The Burnsamatic

Like the Super Swizzler (see above) on steroids, the Burnsamatic is used to push around liquid in a 200-500 litre tank to ensure the alcohol is evenly mixed, like James Bond’s martini.

Ngā mihi to Alan Burns(amatic), its esteemed inventor.

So, there you have it: eight unique and quite random inventions that make the lives of the Fish Team that much easier. For a small stipend, they are also happy to share these internally-trademarked work hacks with you.